![[St. Pachomius Library]](title.gif)
EPISTLE ON IDEAL FRIENDSHIP
This is a very curious work, of unknown origin. It appears to exist only in English, and only in an anonymous translation published in the 19th century as part of a collection of essays on friendship. The other pieces are all by extremely famous (and, with the sole exception of Aristotle, modern) writers. St. Anthusa, by contrast, is a decidedly obscure figure in Church history, and is not listed as the author of any text in Migne or the Thesaurus Linguae Græcæ.
Is this, then, a rare work by the mother of St. John Chrysostom? Probably not, but it is certainly a genuine patristic work in the sense that all of it can be found scattered, word for word, in Chrysostom's accepted writings. This alone should make it worth reading: Chrysostom on friendship.
The first few paragraphs, from the beginning to "that is, friends according to Christ", appear to be taken from the Second Homily on I Thessalonians (PG LXII 403:44 to 404:35). The lines from "Friendship is a great thing" to "many do not understand this" are identical to PG LXII 404:49 to 405:2, while from "many do not understand this" to "another self" is PG LXII 405:15 to 406:8 out of the same homily. The remainder of the epistle (from "another self" to the end -- notice how the excerpts are joined by phrases appearing in two passages) is a long passage from Chrysostom's Seventy-Eighth Homily on the Gospel of John, PG LIX 425:8 to 426:45. The translations are not the same as the widely-available Victorian "Oxford Translation" of Chrysostom (a version of which is contained in the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers series easily found online), but are clearly based on the same underlying Greek text.
All of this suggests that some modern writer decided to pull together what Chrysostom had to say about friendship in a single piece -- and did so, it must be said, very successfully. The "epistle" is quite uplifting, and of considerable spiritual value.
It is extremely hard to understand, however, why the compiler would have attributed it to Anthusa instead of to her infinitely more famous son; or why he would have called it a "letter" even though it has no greeting or any reference to the addressee; or why he would have claimed it was a letter to Chrysostom in particular, even though there is nothing conspicuously "maternal" in the text. These oddities seem so bizarre that I am reluctant to exclude altogether the possibility of some tradition associating the text with Anthusa. (It was, after all, common for ancient texts by obscure, and especially by female, authors to be re-attributed to a more famous writer.) One wishes that some bibliographer with access to the archives of the Lippincott Co. would track down the publication history of this anomalous work.
-- Norman Hugh Redington
A letter to Saint John Chrysostom from his mother SAINT ANTHUSA (whose memory the Church celebrates on the 27th of January) on IDEAL FRIENDSHIP
"A faithful friend is an elixir of life," [Ecclesiasticus 6:16a].
"A faithful friend is a
sturdy shelter," [Ecclesiasticus 6:14a].
For what would a genuine friend not do? what
pleasure would he not create for us? what benefit? what safety?
[*] Though you
were to name a thousand treasures, there is nothing
comparable to a real friend.
First let us say how much pleasure friendship brings. A friend is
bright with joy, and overflows when he sees his friend. He is united
to him in a union having a certain ineffable pleasure of the soul. If
he merely thinks of him, he rises and is carried upwards in his mind.
I speak of genuine friends, who are of one accord, of those who would
choose to die for their friends, of those who love warmly. Do not
imagine that you can refute what I say with the example of those who
love lightly, or who lunch with you, [lit. "who are sharers of your
table": Ecclesiasticus 6:10a ],
or with whom you have a
nodding acquaintance. If any one has a friend such as I describe, he
will understand my words; and, though he should see his friend every
day, it is not often enough for him. He makes the same prayers for his
friend as for himself. I know a certain man, who, when asking for the
prayers of a holy man on behalf of his friend, asks him to pray first
for the friend and then for himself.
A true friend is such that places and times are loved on his account.
For, as shining objects shed a lustre upon the adjoining places, even
so friends impart their own grace to the places they have been. And
oftentimes, when standing in those places without our friends, we have
wept and groaned, remembering the days when we were there together.
It is not possible to express in language the pleasure which the
presence of friends causes, but only those who have experienced it
know. One can ask a favor, and receive a favor, from a friend without
suspicion. When they make a request of us, we are grateful to them;
but when they are slow to ask, then we are sad. We have nothing which
is not theirs. Often, though despising all earthly things,
nevertheless, on their account, we do not wish to depart from this
life; and they are more desirable to us than the light. Yes, indeed, a
friend is more desirable than the light itself. (I speak of the
genuine friend.) And do not object; for it would be better for us for
the sun to be extinguished than to be deprived of friends. It would be
better to live in darkness than to be without friends. And how can I
say this? Because many who see the sun are in darkness. But those who
are rich in friends could never be in tribulation. I speak of the
spiritual friends who set nothing above friendship. Such was Paul, who
would willingly have given his own soul, without having been asked,
and would have willingly fallen into Hell for his brethren,
[Romans 9:3]. With
so burning an affection is it proper to love. Take this as an example
of friendship. Friends surpass fathers and sons, that is, friends
according to Christ.
Friendship is a great thing, and how great, no one could learn by
study, nor by any words of explanation, but only by the experience
itself. For the absence of love has brought heresies, it causes the
heathens to be heathens. He who loves does not wish to command nor to
rule, but he feels more grateful being subject and being commanded. He
wishes to confer favors rather than to receive them, for he loves, and
feels as if he had not gratified his desire. He is not so much
delighted at experiencing kindness as at doing kindness. For he
prefers to hold his friend bound to him, rather than he should be
indebted to his friend: or, rather, he wishes to be indebted to him,
and also to have him as a debtor. He wishes to confer favors, and not
to seem to confer favors, but to be his debtor.
When friendship does not exist, we embarrass with our services those
whom we serve, and we exaggerate small things. But when friendship
does exist, we conceal the services and we also wish to make great
things appear small, in order that we may not seem to have our friend
as a debtor, but that we ourselves may appear to be debtors to him
while actually he is our debtor. I know that many do not understand
this, but the reason is that I discourse of a heavenly thing. It is as
if I spoke of some plant growing in India, of which no one had
experience. Language could not represent it, although I were to utter
ten thousand words. Even so now; whatever I may say, I shall speak in
vain. For no one will be able to represent it. This plant has been
planted in Heaven, having its branches loaded, not with pearls, but
with abundant life, which is much more pleasing than pearls.
But what kind of pleasure do you wish to speak of? Is it of
disgraceful pleasure, or of virtuous pleasure? Now the sweetness of
friendship exceeds all other pleasures. You might mention the
sweetness of honey, except that honey can become cloying, and a friend
never does (so long as he is a friend); the desire is rather increased
the more it is gratified, and this pleasure can never leave us sated.
A friend is sweeter than the present life. Therefore, many have not
wished to live any longer after the death of their friends. With a
friend anyone could willingly endure banishment; but without a friend
no one would choose to inhabit even his own country. With a friend
even poverty is bearable, but without him health and wealth are
unbearable.
To have a friend is to have another self; it is concord and harmony,
which nothing can equal. In this, one is the equivalent of many. For
if two, or ten, are united, none of them is merely one any longer, but
each of them has the ability and value of ten; and you will find the
one in the ten, and the ten in the one. If they have an enemy,
attacking not one, but ten, he is defeated, for he is struck, not by
one, but by ten . Has one fallen into want? Still he is not desolate;
for he prospers in his greater part; that is to say in the nine, and
the needy part is protected; that is, the smaller part by that which
prospers. Each one of them has twenty hands, and twenty eyes, and as
many feet. For he sees not with his own eyes alone, but with those of
others; he walks not with his own feet, but with those of others; he
works not with his own hands, but with those of others. He has ten
souls, for he alone is not concerned about himself, but those other
nine souls are concerned about him. And if they are a hundred, the
same thing will take place again, power will be increased.
See the
excellence of godly love! How it causes one individual to be
unconquerable and equal to many. How the one person can be in
different places. How the same person may thus be in Persia and in
Rome, and how what nature cannot do, love can do. For one part of the
man will be there, and one part here; or rather, he will be altogether
there and altogether here. Or if he have a thousand friends, or two
thousand, think to what a pitch his power will advance. Do you see how
productive a thing love is? For this is a wonderful thing: to make the
individual a thousand-fold. So the question is, why do we not take
possession of this strength, and place ourselves in safety? This is
better than all power and virtue. This is more than health, more than
the light of day itself. And it is a joy. How long shall we confine
our love to one or two?
Learn from considering the opposite. Suppose there were someone who
had no friend -- a thing which is of the utmost folly. ("A fool will say,
'I have no friend,' " [Ecclesiasticus 20:16a]. )
What kind of life does such a person live?
For even if he were rich a thousand times over; even if he were to
live in abundance and luxury, and possess a multitude of good things,
he is absolutely destitute and naked. But in the case of friends this
is not so; but even if they are poor, they are better provided than
the rich; and what a man will not venture to say for himself, a friend
will say for him. And the things which he is unable to grant by
himself, those he can grant through another, and much more, and thus
he will be to us a cause of all pleasure and enjoyment. For it is
impossible that he should suffer hurt, being protected by so many
bodyguards. Not even the Emperor's bodyguards are as careful as one's
friends; for the former guard through fear of discipline, but the
latter through love. And love is much more commanding than fear.
Indeed, a king may fear his guards; but the friend trusts to them more
than to himself and, because of them, fears none of those who plot
against him.
Let us, therefore, procure for ourselves this
commodity -- the poor man, that he may have a consolation of his poverty;
the rich man, in order that he may possess his riches in safety; the
ruler that he may rule with safety; the subject, that he may have
well-disposed rulers.
Friendship is an occasion of benevolence and a source of clemency.
Even among beasts, the most savage and intractable are those which do
not herd together. Therefore we inhabit cities and we hold markets,
that we may have intercourse with each other. This also Paul
commanded, when he forbade "neglecting to meet together,"
[Hebrews 10:25a]. For
there is nothing so bad as solitude, and the absence of society and of
access to others.
What about monks, then, one might ask, and those who live as hermits
on tops of mountains? They are not without friends. They have fled
from the tumult of the marketplace, but they have many of one accord
with them, and are closely bound to each other in Christ. And it was
in order that they might accomplish this that they withdrew. For,
since the zeal of business leads to many disputes, they have left the
world to cultivate godly love with great strictness. The skeptic then
might say: What? If a man is alone, may he also have friends? I,
indeed, would wish, if it were possible, that we were all able to live
together; but, in the meantime, let friendship remain unmoved. For it
is not the place that makes the friend. Furthermore, the monks have
many who admire them; but no one would admire unless they loved. Also,
the monks pray for the entire world, which is the greatest evidence of
friendship.
For the same reason we embrace each other in the Divine
Liturgy; in order that being many, we may become one. And we make
common prayer for the uninitiated, for the sick, for the fruits of the
earth, and for travelers by land and by sea. Behold the strength of
love in the prayers, in the holy mysteries, in the preaching. This is
the cause of all good things. If we apply ourselves with due care to
these precepts, we shall both administer present things well and
obtain the Kingdom.